Can Anyone Write a Memoir? (Yes — Here’s How)
Do you feel perhaps unqualified to write a memoir? Is the question ‘Can anyone write a memoir’ a persistent question you need an answer to?
In over 3 decades as a memoir and fiction writing coach, I’ve met many people from many walks of life that felt they were perhaps incapable of writing a memoir.
Not only because of feeling that their life was not interesting enough, but because of an inner-critic weighing the nagging crutch of self-doubt upon their shoulders.
It’s time to leave the inner critic outside the door and trust in the writing process.
Is Everyone Capable of Writing a Memoir?
I believe everyone is capable of writing a memoir. Perhaps everyone is not capable of writing a best seller, but that quest is also determined and defined by a large number of factors, and not solely down to the capabilities of the writer.
Self-doubt can keep you from engaging in what is a truly wonderful art form and pastime – story creation and memoir writing.
Everyone has a story to tell – and knowing how to translate your life experiences into story – that’s the key to writing memoir.
Self-doubt can keep you from engaging in what is a truly wonderful art form and pastime – story creation and memoir writing.
Some folks are of the belief that ‘real writers’ just pick up the pen, and write. And some time later they have a best-selling book in their hands. Not true. So not true.
Writing is knowing how to create story. Writing is about finding the subject matter you want to write about. Writing is creating and developing your story. And then, writing it to best of your creative abilities.
Writing, like all art forms, is a skill that can be studied. Maybe we are not all going to win the Nobel Prize for Literature, but that shouldn’t stop us from trying.
Do read my Blog: How to Write a Memoir About Your Life to find out more.
Do I have to be a Celebrity to Write a Memoir?
There is a persistent myth in our culture that memoirs are reserved exclusively for celebrities, politicians or people who have survived extreme, headline-making circumstances.
Thankfully this is a myth. You do not need to be famous, have climbed Mount Everest or won an Academy Award to write an engaging book.
An ‘ordinary’ life can experience the most profound incidents, and how we overcome these challenges makes for great story, regardless of class or position in society.
Often it is the simplest of lives that provide the deepest of meaning in life situations, and as readers memoir teaches us that we are not alone in our struggles and our joys. Such is the power of memoir writing.
What do I include in my Memoir?
Participants in my writing retreats and online memoir writing course often feel they personally have nothing to share or write about.
They think instead that they will write about their brilliant granny, their incredible father, or a person of great influence in their lives. Which is wonderful, but focusing on another person as the main character in the story is not memoir writing, it’s biographical writing.
Memoir writing is about writing about your life. If you want to include granny that’s fine, but you write about her from your perspective, and the influence she had on your life. Your memoir is your life story, not granny’s.
Finding what to write about is part of the process, and nothing to be ‘worried’ about. There are dozens of exercises in my workbook, The Memoir Writing Workbook, that help trigger memory and define what it is you want to write. You make that decision very early in the writing process.
And remember, you may have several memoirs to write, but that is all part of the discovery. It’s not complicated, you have lived a very full life, even doing ordinary things, so there are a million things you could write about.
The trick is to find what you want to write, and how those experiences shaped your world.
Overcoming the ‘I’m Not a Writer’ Fear
As I mentioned, writing is not a magical gift bestowed upon a lucky few; it is a practice. And there is no point holding negative thoughts about yourself or your abilities. Or in thinking that you are not ‘a creative person’.
Creativity can be tapped into. Story creation can be learned. Writing Voice can be practised.
Creativity can be tapped into. Story creation can be learned. Writing Voice can be practised.
My memoir writing teachings in The Memoir Writing Workbook, my 12-week Online Memoir Writing Course and Writing Retreats focus on right-brain/left-brain visual writing techniques, which show the writer how to tap into their well of memory, and write creatively.
And there are many tricks to help you find your inner writing core. My innovative writing concepts work. They have been proven over 35 years of facilitating writing workshops. They will help you start your memoir. And they will show you how to complete it – by engaging in a creative step-by-step process.
That is the key to developing your writing skills, and writing your personal life story.
Read more about How to Start a Memoir When you Don’t Know Where to Begin
Learning to Navigate – The Well of Memory
Stored within each of us are our memories – what I refer to as the ‘well of memory’ – that collection of experiences made up of people and events that shaped our lives.
Your well of memory provides the source material for your memoir.
We are seeking to sort those life incidents that had a particularly great impact upon us, and the decisions we did or did not make.
Those significant moments that changed our present and altered our future. In reflection upon our past we can see patterns in our history that, once ordered, can become the focus of our memoir.
Your well of memory provides the source material for your memoir.
It’s a learning process. In my memoir writing teachings, I guide you through the step-by-step process of developing your life story. You discover the subject and theme of your memoir. You engage in exercises that enhance your memories and develop your life stories in easy stages.
You connect to your writing voice and the core of your life journey as you learn how to creatively express your life story through memoir.
Another way of course to help navigate your well of memory, is to Start a Memoir Writing Club with friends and family, using The Memoir Writing Workbook as your guide. Clubs are a great way to help overcome fears about your own writing. Learn more about this on my How to Get Feedback on my Memoir blog post.
How Do I Overcome my Inner Critic?
Ah! The inner critic. That negative inner voice that taps you on the shoulder saying things like; ‘You’re not good enough’. ‘You can’t do this’. ‘You’re not a writer’. And so on.
Negative thoughts that will bring you down and make you so insecure you will start believing them. It’s time to stop this negative behaviour.
Get Rid of Your Inner Critic Exercise – Irene Graham
Use this exercise to stamp out, overcome, kill and remove your inner critic.
- Get chalk or crayons.
- Use a blank page – letter/A4 size or bigger.
- With your left hand (even if you are left hand dominant) ‘Draw’ your inner critic. When I say ‘draw ‘, I mean this very loosely. It’s can be squiggles on the page, lines, circles, boxes, whatever comes to you.
- What does it look like? What happens on the page with the chalk or crayon when you think of your inner critic?
- Keep drawing until you complete your natural flow.
- With your left hand, write the title of your drawing on the page.
- Reflect over your drawing. What do you see. What does it make you feel like?
- Get ready to let go of this negative concept.
- Burn your drawing (only if it is safe to do so). Otherwise tear it up into tiny minute pieces. Feel good about getting rid of this inner critic.
- It’s gone. You have overcome your inner critic and the negative thoughts about your writing and your self.
Do this exercise often, especially before you start your writing sessions.
See more fun exercises on my Blog: Right-Brain vs Left-Brain – What’s the Difference?
Turning Your Memories into Memoir
Can anyone write a memoir? Yes, and that includes you. You can write your memoir, and I hope you know that now from reading this blog. And using the right-brain/left-brain writing techniques that I have developed over years definitely makes it easier to write.
You will discover how to write a memoir by following my memoir map in The Memoir Writing Workbook and accessing right-brain/left-brain writing techniques.
Triggering memories becomes exciting and the whole process becomes a joy rather than a chore. You will tap into a writing process that allows you to write from the heart, and you will understand how to create story – your story.
See Irene’s other Blog posts to help develop further thoughts. There’s plenty more to learn and chat about!
Join Irene's Blog
Get occasional writing tips, updates and news from Irene Graham and The Memoir Writing Club, straight to your inbox.
Want a helping hand and guide to put this into practice?
The Memoir Writing Workbook (240 pages) is based on right-brain/left-brain visual writing techniques. It has 36 multi-part step-by-step exercises and 45 writing tips and tricks to help you trigger memory and write your story, at your own pace.
Or join Irene in her 12-week Online Memoir Writing Course or on one of her Writing Retreats.
